SWITZERLAND—After serious deliberations deep inside the super-secret Nobel Prize Compound in Switzerland or wherever, the Nobel committee of medicine deciders have awarded the coveted Nobel Prize in Medicine to Russia’s President Vladimir Putin for singlehandedly ending the COVID pandemic practically overnight.
瑞士ー在瑞士或其他地方，诺贝尔医学奖委员会经过认真的深思熟虑，决定将令人垂涎的诺贝尔医学奖授予俄罗斯总统弗拉基米尔 · 普京，因为他几乎在一夜之间单枪匹马地终结了 COVID 的流行。
News of the swift and nearly-miraculous end to a years-long pandemic came at a serendipitous moment for members of a certain American political party.
这场持续数年之久的流行病迅速奇迹般结束的消息，恰逢某个美国政党成员偶然发现的时刻。
“While Putin should receive credit for ending this pandemic, President Biden also deserves praise for ending the pandemic and fulfilling yet another campaign promise like all of the other campaign promises he totally keeps fulfilling,” said Jen Psaki to a journalist and future coworker at MSNBC, “Yes, Putin’s magical ability to end this pandemic bodes well for any democrat running for reelection this November, but that’s just a happy, happy coincidence.”
“虽然普京应该因结束疫情而受到赞扬，但拜登总统也应该因结束疫情和履行另一个竞选承诺而受到赞扬，就像他一直在履行的所有其他竞选承诺一样，”珍·普萨基对一名记者和未来在MSNBC的同事说，“是的，普京结束疫情的神奇能力对今年11月竞选连任的任何民主党人来说都是一个好兆头，但这只是一个快乐的巧合。”
Thanks to the Russian President’s decisive blow against the COVID pandemic, Democrat-run states across the U.S. immediately began lifting draconian, life-crushing, and statistically racist mask and vaccine mandates in workplaces, restaurants, and even schools. This great news about the scientifically plausible and immediate end to the pandemic is sure to be one of President Biden’s main talking points during his first State of the Union speech.
由于俄罗斯总统对 COVID 流行病的决定性打击，民主党控制的美国各州立即开始取消工作场所、餐馆甚至学校中严厉的、毁灭生命的、统计上带有种族主义色彩的面具和疫苗。这个从科学上看似有道理且能立即结束这场大流行病的好消息，肯定会成为拜登总统在他第一次国情咨文演讲中的主要话题之一。
President Putin showed up in person to receive the Nobel Prize, and then asked to stay in the "super-secret Nobel Prize Compound" as he was hiding from mobs of angry Russian citizens for no apparent reason.
普京总统亲自前来领取诺贝尔奖，然后要求留在“超级秘密的诺贝尔奖院”，因为他无缘无故地躲避愤怒的俄罗斯民众。
来源：https://babylonbee.com/news/putin-receives-nobel-prize-in-medicine-for-ending-covid-pandemic
